Exclusively alternative jewellery

One more signature on the dotted line?


I know, I know - we are all suffering from petition fatigue, on top of everything else.

But, this one is really important - vital for so many wonderful independent traders and creative people right now. 

Newly self-employed people have already taken a massive leap of faith in setting up their own micro-businesses in the first place - they are no strangers to the stressful environment of gambling their entire future upon the potential of a bright idea, trusting only to hope and inspiration and sheer hard work. Yet the situation they now face post Covid-19 is off the scale - unprecedented and impossible to survive without financial assistance. 

The same protection that has been generously offered to the majority of us should clearly be extended to them too - they deserve nothing less.

So please, put your name to this petition too.

Stay happy, healthy, safe and sound - you all. 

Please sign now - for self-employed survival


Please read this petition, and if you agree with its fine wording - sign it, share it, and spread the good word. Self-employed people deserve the same help as everyone else - it's only fair and logical. So, let's get together and make it happen.

Thank you one and all - stay safe, and look after you and yours.

Asking for your help in our hour of need

York's wonderful Market Traders are being treated in a truly inhuman way over Christmas. 

Forced to work ridiculously long 15-18 hour shifts by a nonsensical vehicle access curfew imposed by Market Management, we are all really worried for our health and safety - and dreading a trading period which should be one of the highlights of our year.

All of our constructive efforts in offering simple and fool-proof solutions to the situation have been ignored, and so we have no option but to ask for your assistance.

So please support us, and read the petition at - 


Then, if you agree with its worthy sentiments, please both sign and share it.

Many thanks indeed, from all of us on York's Shambles Market. 


HUMBUG, OR......?

Hearing the toe-curling strains of Aled Jones since early November had the SPLATT! and KCHOOM! Cringe-ometers registering danger levels, with the urge to say "Humbug to it all" never far from our minds. It has been accurately summarised elsewhere on social media that none of the twelve days of Christmas are in November, and no-one feels the urge to start preparing for Bonfire night 6 weeks before the event either........

However, we do gladly report to you that the centre of York is truly buzzing now - the positive side to the complete over-cooking of the whole festive melange is that it does offer even more good reasons to visit our lovely trading home. The St Nick's Xmas market is chock-full of fine independent offerings of course, and our Shambles Market is bedecked with celebratory trimmings - a fitting backdrop to all the extra traders who are turning out regularly just now, and trading later than usual too....

So whether you love or loathe the whole festival of material excess that is now upon us, you will most surely enjoy a visit to our little chunk of York's iconic and historic trading hub. And there's every chance that you will come away with some gifts that perfectly combine the quirky and the unusual with real value and quality.

Ho ho ho.


Oh yes indeed - this Goth Weekend has a great new trading area Upstairs at the Spa Pavilion Hall, West Cliff, Whitby - of course. Meaning the large hall where the evening's bands were playing at the last October Weekend, which is now full of a splendid array of seriously alternative kit and caboodle for your delectation and purchase. More light and airy, and with wider aisles for you wonderful folk to throng through - a very fine idea by the WGW people, of which we all heartily approve.

Splatt! and Kchoom! are to be found in this new area, easily located near the landmark of the New Rock Footwear emporium - which is straight ahead of you when you walk into the hall. Our plethora of new and quirky metallic delights are on the second last pitch on the far left hand walkway. Plenty more reasons for a well deserved venture to this iconic event, we reckon.....



Finally, kicking and screaming, emerging into a chink in the world of all things social. Instagram and Facebook are now platforms upon which you lovely lot can keep tabs on us. Plus, there is a new email address that truly gets through to us now - the original account tied to this site is defunct, bombarded by so much spam as to be unusable by us, alas.....

Never fear however, the following means of checking us out and mailing to us will work - 

Search for Splatt and Kchoom at Facebook, and the same at Instagram


And there you have it, really do hope to hear from you soon, and roll on the Spring festivities over Easter time in sunny, rocking, York.

Sithee soon.


So much more - a new permanent location for our vast array of metallic delights - every Saturday on pitch number 69 at York Shambles Market YO1 8RY. Happily nestled inbetween the quirky and eclectic mix of wonderful characters and quality offerings that collectively create the market community. A vibrant mecca for all those in search of true independence - a place to interact directly with the folk who are the creators of precious micro-buisinesses not found anywhere else. The perfect antidote to homogenised High Street fayre - somewhere you can find the genuine alternative to the generic, standardised and predictable.

Simple to locate our new Saturday home - at the Stonebow end of the market yard, facing toward the highly rated market Food Court area, and on the Shambles side of that row. Our pitch has the fine view of the Krep Stall's majestic Citroen truck, giving you a landmark with personality to navigate by.

See you there on a Saturday sometime soon..........


For that is our regular Friday pitch within the York Shambles Market where we await your arrival each week. Ever busy tweaking and expanding the panoply of jewellery delights on offer from our little emporium, and working toward the elusive goal of totally shiny perfection....

Number 22 can be found just behind a stall called "That Fudge Guy" - the excellent mecca for all those with sweeter teeth, run by Roy who can also be found there every week. Your other easy landmarks within the compact and yet bijoux market square are the fishmonger's units run by Cross of York, and the ever-popular Swain's family butchers - which are in turn located opposite Roy's Fudge stall, and the Henshelwood's Deli shop on the corner of the street cryptically named 'Patrick Pool'........

Our regular trading locations for other days of the week are gradually being selected and agreed with all concerned, and we'll let you know their whereabouts as soon as all has been confirmed.

Looking forward to catching up with you all there soon.


After a long overdue, and well-earned break from it all - trading will recommence in the wild and wonderful North of the U.K. soon. A smorgasbord of alternative events that we loved the look of are detailed above for your perusal, and we do hope that for at they make logistical sense for at least a few of you lovely folk. Indeed, for some they will be far easier to reach than our erstwhile trading home in North London....

It would be truly marvellous to see you guys again, in a fresh new location - though we have not missed the daily grind of London town one little bit, we have really missed you all. The whole deal, all of the bantering, and sharing the time together whilst exchanging shiny wearable delights with you. 

For now, we are still abroad - literally and figuratively - enjoying the wonders of Europe, and seeing our nearest and dearest in the process. Soon though, we shall commence our long slow journey home, wending our merry way back to Blighty, and to our pastures new.

Be grand to sithee all upon our return, really would.......


From the bottom of my heart, my sincere thanks to Alan Jones, Eamon Stack, Matthew Benson, Kate O'Sullivan, Jake Emms, midweek Martini, and all the other market managers who allowed me become a part of such an amazing community of traders. Who gave me the time and space to nurture and grow my business, and to be able to be truly independent as my own boss for the first time in my life. Their enlightened approach to the whole site created the wonderful environment in which such a disparate band of creative misfits, maverick entrepreneurs, and bonkers characters could co-exist and thrive - giving a supportive working home to all of we lucky Camden Lock folk.

To all my friends and neighbours, to all of the storage guys, and all of the security teams - a happy band of equals who co-operate and look out for each other so well - who will always be my London family. The people of the Lock are the place - the bricks and mortar are simply the platform, the stage upon which the daily dramas and cheerful banter between the traders and customers bring the space to life in a unique way. The atmosphere, the sights, sounds and smells of the site are indelibly imprinted upon my psyche - the memories will stay with me forever.

Thank you one and all.


My sincere apologies to one and all for bringing my departure date forward by two days - I would not have done so had it not been forced upon my by the latest tweak that overwork has caused me. The indestructibility that I normally pride myself on has been tested beyond its limit recently, and I have ended up with a painfully iffy elbow joint, which I just cannot risk pushing further - the sheer amount of lifting and carrying required to set up and break down my outdoor weekend pitch really is not a good plan for me right now. Especially given that, just as soon as I stop trading in Camden Lock, I will then need to crack on with constructing new displays for our show trading career in the North of the U.K....

So, I sincerely hope that you wonderful people will understand my decision, and that it will not cause undue disappointment. Thank you once more, for everything.


The curtain as about to rise upon the last ever trading run for Splatt! in Camden Lock. Sunday the 23rd of April will be the last day that my little empire will ever trade in Camden. The end of an era, to be sure - I've been proud to be a tiny part of the Camden Lock community for 20 years now, and it is a chapter of my life which has been the best so far, by far. To have traded in such a true one-off of a place, impossible to imitate, recreate or re-invent, has been a priviledge and a life-changing experience. I truly discovered myself here, was able to become my own boss, worked alongside some the finest people I have ever known, and I met my wife - the love of my life - here.

All this was only possible because of you - the unbelievable, wonderfully loyal and supportive customers which I have had the good fortune to meet and to serve over the many happy years. Without you, I have nothing, without you I could not have survived thus far, and so I owe you all my deepest and most heartfelt thanks - you have my sincere gratitude for ever more. I have to confess to shedding a tear or two just in writing this post, such is my level of true commitment to all that we have shared.

But, this is not a negative step that I am taking now, but rather a long considered and hugely overdue decison to quit London town in search of a better quality of life. The capital is no longer a place that I want to be, and so it is time to move on outwards and upwards. My time here has been great, but the world is full of marvellous places - and it feels right to set off out there, to have an adventure once again......

Which means that Splatt! will reppear later this year, but not in any one fixed trading location - we will be trading at one-off shows and events, mainly in the North of England. Exact dates and locations for those events will be posted on this site soon, but you can of course mail me, so that I can then mail you back with confirmed details as and when I have them. 

Thank you, one and all, for everything.


Oh you lucky, marvellous people - so many new sterling silver designs to discover right now. Chunky, curvaceous, arty and amazing rings - including the elegant new etched finish reminiscent of the surface of cracked ice, along with fresh incarnations featuring skillful combinations of sand-brushed and hi-polished finishes. Offered to you via my wife's blossoming new venture which trades as Kchoom!, but still to be found happily side by side on the venerable shiny wooden counter with the ever-evolving Splatt! range.

Fully U.K. hallmarked, of course, and sitting expectantly for you among the rich abundance of highly unusual provender that is the Splatt! and Kchoom! emporium. 

See you soon, y'all..........


Greetings to all of you wonderful Splatt! folk, and welcome to a whole new world of wonders for the upper parts of your ears. Hinged segment rings - either clean and simple or with cast feather and flower designs and sparkly inlays. Double-ended cast designs like skulls, needles and nails on straight bars for helix and forward helix piercings. A huge choice of colours from classic hi-polish, gold and black PVD hypoallergenic coatings and anodised multi-coloured.

They have just landed, and sit proudly on my display counter awaiting your inspection and approval. 100% solid surgical material in every part - finely crafted designs to treasure and sport happily ever after. So, come on down to the Lock Market and refresh your adornments with some truly original additions......


Which as spells an unplanned break in trading, folks. Despite my unshakeable conviction that I am truly invincible and indestructible, I am now having to admit to a temporary bout of fragile mere mortal status due to a dodgy and ill-advised attempt to lift a box of my own wares. I mean, it is hardly the first time that I had to lift a heavy box, in my nigh-on two decades of market trading. But, even though I know full-well how to do the job properly and safely, I had to go an be a daft 'ap'orth, and tweak my back by going all gung-ho and not concentrating on how I was stupidly both lifting and twisting at the same time.

Ah well, my back and I shall be back, after my back is rested, nurtured and placated - and have no fear, I will be returning to full trading fettle just as soon as it is prudent . So, please do bear with me as l take a wee while off work to fix myself, and to make sure that it does not simply re-occur because I didn't let it heal up fully. That way, we can all get back into a familiarly happy and shiny groove for the rest of the forseeable......

My sincere apologies for not being available for a couple of weeks, but I do I really look forward to seeing you all over a stall very soon.

Thank you most kindly indeed.....